Monday, May 07, 2007

Guilty

Of alot of things...BUT. I need to get my priorities straight. I finally got the move over with but of course everything is still in boxes and I'm slowly working my way around. I don't feel very motivated though, what i DO feel IS plenty of guilt. I worry with the puppies being outside during our monsoon weather pattern...I worry about whether or not this was the right decision...the boys are doing great but running around wild in the chaos...Mom thinks it's one big slumber party and wants us to spend all of our time downstairs with her or going out to eat constantly. She says she didn't realize how lonely she was until we moved closer. Maybe I'm still just a little tired and overwhelmed by the mess.

I need to write. Even if it's just an outlet to let my thoughts from exploding in my head. I need to follow my commitment with my crit partners, I've gotten so far behind. But I need to push and finish my manuscript. I need to do it for me. This is where the guilt really comes in to play. I want to just tell the world to stop for awhile to let me write. How do I make the decision as to the importance of my responsibilities? I know my faith and family come first...but my writing IS my job now. I was a working mom for years...I don't remember telling my boss I had to take a day off cause I couldn't find the box my underwear was in, or the little one's Ninja Turtle van he says his guys can't live without.

Guilt...all the way around.

3 comments:

Jennifer Shirk said...

Yeah, I know the feeling. I think about that a lot,too. (The time I waste thinking I should be writing! LOL!)
Family and faith first for me, too. That does make it difficult to put the writing up there with all that.
**sigh**
I'm writing, but not as much as I'd like to right now.

Chicki said...

Ditto on the faith and family first, but since my kids are grown it's much easier for me to write.
Honestly, I don't how mothers with young children do everything and write too! One thing you have to remember is that you can't spend every waking minute doing for others -- even family. This is the thing most women regret when they get to be my age.

Commit to doing something YOU want to do every day. Remember those kiddies are going to leave one day (as they should) and you need something in your life that's yours alone.

If you read my blog yesterday, I'm going through a guilt trip of my own right not over writing but over reading. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to do everything...

Bella said...

See? I've been MIA for so long I had no idea you were moving. We moved three and half years ago and it took me month to put things away. Chin up. Oh, and I hope you had a fabulous Mother's Day.

On the guilt, at least you're feeling it. I haven't written a thing in two weeks and I'm not feeling one ounce of it...that's really bad.

Bella