Kinda. LOL. Mom has had her first surgery and did very well. Thanks so much for all of the prayers and support. Also...my cowboy story was passed up again by my target editor. Which had me doing some soul searching and talking with writer friends/crit partners.
I have several friends who will shoot straight with me and tell it like it is. One in particular, Rae, really held my feet to the fire. She asked me if I was writing what I love or merely to target a particular publisher with hopes to publish. As we talked, I realized that I've been chasing editors and lines that I "enjoy" reading. And to be honest...that's not saying alot. I absolutely love to read. And I can read just about any genre. Except academics. Something in my brain rebels and shuts down into sleep mode. But I wasn't targeting Harlequin/Silhouette simply because I'd expected it to be easy, it was because I grew up reading Harlequin.
When I first decided to seriously write geared toward becoming published, I searched the different publishers and came across eHarlequin Online Community. They were the only publisher at the time with an active online outreach to their authors, unpubbed writers, and their readers. I read alot about their "formula" for the different lines and thought that by keeping my word count short, and targeting a publisher who accepts unagented material and supposedly is always looking for new talent, that I might actually have a better shot. Not that I thought I was a better writer than the thousands of others sending in submissions, just that with so much information available...I had an idea as to what the editors wanted and it wasn't as much of a crap shoot. It also helped that the lines I wanted to target published at least four books a month and may be more apt to take on fresh voices.
And I still believe that. Sorta. I'm just wondering if my writing fits in that category. Is that where I really want to be? So instead of babying me and letting me feel sorry for myself, my friend asked if I had a particular story that I kept going back to. Why, yes. Yes I do. When I was in college, I wrote a paper over my Native American family history. (Brag alert! Be warned!) The history professor was known for his snide comments and not being generous with A's. I was completely shocked when I received an A-. He even went on to discuss it with my literature professor and they both nominated my paper to be presented at an upcoming symposium. I thought I would vomit. I'm not really sure how I made it through the presentation but finally relaxed after it was over when I had several people ask questions and seem interested in what I had found. People actually clapped when I finished.
Little did they know that they'd created a monster. But life happened. I married and immediately had a baby and had to put off the college dream for a full-time mom job and a full-time day job working for a law firm. Writing didn't seem to fit into that schedule until much, much later. Actually another husband and another baby later. I was put on bed rest during the pregnancy and my hubby got tired of me whining about how bored I was. A laptop seemed to quench that thirst, on top of lots and lots of books to read. Put the two together...and there ya go. My writing dream smacked me in the face.
Anywho...didn't mean to ramble and bore you guys. So now I'm back to square one...just with a little more experience. What do I want to write? REALLY write? I think I'll take that giant leap off the cliff...I'm going to challenge myself and work on a historical. So there ya go. Ya had to wade through all that crap to hear that I'm going in another direction. *sigh*